Last night I said to my friend, “I really think Matt Bomer should be cast as Christian Grey.” For those of you who are not familiar with the lesser-known Bomer, he stars in the show, White Collar, which is on its fourth season (and Netflix), was recently a supporting character in both In Time and Magic Mike, and guest-starred on Glee, singing “Somebody That I Used to Know” with Darren Criss. For those of you who are not familiar with Christian Grey, congratulations.

Bomer kind of looks like an American Henry Cavill with the swagger of a lovechild between Christian Bale and The Mad Hatter. He has chiseled features and a square jaw that could cut glass. He has the messier hair of Scott Dissick and the eyes of the Caspian Sea during a storm. He also has three beautiful children with his life partner, named Simon.

And that smile!

Bomer has long been rumored to be a contender for the role of Christian Grey, and comes up on many peoples’ lists of “Top Actors Who Should Play Christian Grey.” Bret Easton Ellis, the writer of American Psycho, has expressed an avid interest in directing the film adaptation of the novel. He is particularly passionate, not about who should star as Christian, but rather that Matt Bomer specifically not star as Christian because he is “too gay.” According to Ellis, “Casting Matthew Bomer is the equivalent as [sic] casting Jesse Tyler Ferguson,” one half of the gay couple and the only actual gay man in Modern Family.

Pictured: the same person (?) 

One of the main plot points in White Collar (spoiler alert, I guess, but this is revealed five minutes into the pilot) is his fanatical obsession with getting his long-time girlfriend back. He’s a con man, and specializes in charming people in order to con them. He plays the character as having a quirky and slightly flamboyant coating with a stoic, emotional center. While the casting of the girl from Percy Jackson as his girlfriend is questionable, he plays the pining lover bit with sincerity. Not once have I thought he “comes off totally gay,” as Ellis argued.

What does coming off “totally gay” mean? Is there a spectrum of gayness, ranging from bearded ex-Marine lumberjack to Jesse Tyler Ferguson? Does that mean bearded lumberjacks or Marines can’t be gay? Where does the kid from Glee with the pleasant Soprano stand? If you’re not adopting a lisp, flinging your hands, and saying “girlfriend,” does that mean you aren’t gay enough or does that make you too gay?

I’m blinded by the gayness!

Zachary Quinto came out last year and I never heard J.J. Abrams publicly denouncing him because he is too gay to be Spock. The role of Christian Grey is of course a matter of preference; however, the argument that any actor would be “too gay” for Grey is questionable if not moot when even his leading lady can’t figure out if he’s straight or not.

I mean seriously, WHO has a tan in Seattle?

Wouldn’t such a contrary character, a tortured soul with atypical sexual appetites who is confused by his feelings for a woman, need to be played by an actor who can express ambiguity, regardless of sexuality? The question is not whether Bomer should play Grey, but rather why he shouldn’t.

Why is it controversial for a gay man to be cast in a straight role when the opposite is not only acceptable, but enthusiastically praised? Both Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal were nominated for their roles in Brokeback Mountain. The movie lost the Oscar for Best Picture and the media claimed it had been robbed due to “unspoken prejudices.” The Kids Are All Right was nominated for Best Picture. Monster won Charlize Theron Best Actress. Milk was nominated in 8 different categories, including Best Actor for Sean Penn. Casting a straight man as a gay man is viewed as progressive, but casting a gay man as a straight man is met with discomfort.

When I told my friend Bomer should be cast in Fifty Shades of Grey,  she said “I just can’t see him getting into it.” I don’t think she was saying he can’t be Grey because he’s gay, especially considering her ideal casting choice is Chris Hemsworth, but I have to wonder: is a man less attractive to a woman because he’s gay? The main audience of Fifty Shades is women. They probably want to see a Christian they can see themselves having sex with. In the end, however, this is a movie. The man who most fits the role should get the role. These people are actors. It is their job to read lines from a script and make us believe they mean what they are saying. Sexuality is not a puppet master that controls one’s every move. If the actor is a good actor, he can make you believe anything.

Pictured: pretend

It’s unclear who we should expect in the role. Author E. L. James has been notoriously secretive about her casting choices and the people making the movie have the final say. While we await the announcement with bated breath, one thing is certain: the public doesn’t seem to think Matt Bomer is too gay for Grey. As of yesterday, he is leading the fan polls.

And ladies, there are worse alternatives. 

Mary Milliken is heterosexual but would strongly consider going gay for Jessica Chastain or Kerry Washington. She neglected to read any of the Fifty Shades books, and would like to thank her friend Jayna and sister Annie for their consultation.